Today I want to give you some tips on how to stop negative thoughts and be happy.
People will have an average of 40,000 to 60,000 negative thoughts a day. Just because we have them and it’s totally normal doesn’t change the fact that they can ruin our day, business, relationship, or life. Learning how to stop negative thoughts that keep you from being happy is going to change your life.
The great news about your thoughts having such a fierce control over your life and every part of it is that you can change your thoughts! There is no outside force controlling your thoughts, only you. Everything from feeling bad, sad, angry, anxious, etc. because of your thoughts is 100% avoidable.
Let’s break it down.
85% of what we worry about has a good or neutral outcome
80% feel they handled the outcome better than they imagined they would
So now we know that our thoughts are usually making us crazy for nothing, and everything will pretty much be fine in the end, let’s work on changing those pesky thoughts!
Let’s start by being more aware of our negative thoughts
You especially want to watch out for thoughts you have over and over again. Rumination is the act of compulsively focusing attention on the symptoms of one’s distress, and on its possible causes and consequences, as opposed to its solutions. Rumination is similar, but different from your basic worrying. Rumination focuses on bad feelings and experiences from the past, whereas worry is concerned with potential bad events in the future. The past is OVER, FINISHED, DONE.
Feeling awful won’t change the past, but it will ruin your present.
Worrying and rumination both cause anxiety. This is a completely self-focused problem. The best way to break out is to ask yourself these questions:
- How do I feel about this event?
- How can I change my thoughts and feelings about the event?
- How can I prevent disturbing thoughts and feelings in the future?
Action Plan For Happiness
- Write down how you want to feel when you start to feel bad.
- Include a few healthy activities you can squeeze into your day that bring you joy.
- Make it a point to really consciously enjoy them.
- Then be sure to share how much joy the activities brought you (when and wherever appropriate).
- When you say it out loud and write about it, you will eventually believe it and change how you feel chemically.
Example: Tell your friends how much you enjoyed your run after lunch. Tweet about how awesome it feels to get some quick exercise during the day.
Forgive and Ask for Forgiveness
Sometimes we have negative thoughts and feelings because we are still upset about something that happened or something we did. If you can forgive or ask for forgiveness in person. If you just cannot, forgive all on your own. You don’t need someone there in the flesh to forgive them just as you don’t need them there to ask for forgiveness. Forgive yourself, forgive them, and find peace in letting go and inviting in some good.
Be Super Grateful
It’s great to want more! That’s probably why you’re here in the first place. But do take a moment at least once or twice during the day to be happy and enjoy what you have RIGHT NOW. A good hair day, comfortable shoes, an Internet connection, the ability to think for yourself. Nothing is too big or small. Just take a few minutes a day to run those good things through that beautiful brain of yours.
Stop Giving Yourself Goals Before You Can Feel Happy
This is sadly common. When such and such happens, when I make this amount, when I finally do/have this…THEN I’ll be happy. No accomplishment, person, place, or thing will make you happy. You have to make yourself happy. It’s an inside job baby! Let go of this mindset.
A sad person with nothing is sad with everything. A happy person with nothing is also happy with everything.
You’ll lose the battle from time to time. Maybe that time of the month, maybe you get overwhelmed. Whatever it is, just do your best to stop yourself and pause. Take a moment to sit with your thoughts and have a serious conversation about how they are the problem.
You are responsible not for what happens to you, but for how you allow it to make your feel.
I wish you all the insight and self regulation to stop your negative thoughts from taking over. Own your feelings to destroy them and you’ll create more joyful moments.
Get to the comments section and tell us your best tips for conquering your own negative thoughts.